Children are animals, and should be treated as such. Not really, but wouldn't it be more fun for you as the parent to creatively punish your child? To point and laugh at their suffering through some of the most frustrating NES games of all time. Yes, you can ground a kid to a room or have them sit in a chair. But where's the fun in that?
My daughter is only two years old so the worst punishment she receives is a stern, "No, no." After creating this little list I'll be ready when she does get in trouble. Is it sad I'm actually looking forward to it? My NES method of tough love provides the following: punishment of your child, entertainment for you, and a deterrent for your child to stay on the straight and narrow so they never have to play these brutal games again.
My method will only work if your child has zero familiarity with these games. If your child refuses to play, promise them the only cell phone they'll ever own is a Nokia from 1998--with the Snake game included!
Ghosts 'N Goblins
Ghosts 'N Goblins is one of the hardest games in video game history. There are cheap enemies, flying birds (every hard game seems to having some sort of flying bird), and Sir Arthur can only withstand two hits before he dies in his underwear. This punishment is for the whining kid. Because no matter how bad your life sucks at age 7 or 8 nothing compares to getting your ass kicked repeatedly in Ghosts 'N Goblins, and after a death having to hear that quick little tune and see a screen of the map to show how far you still need to go. Taunting you, because you will never beat this game. You'll be lucky to get past the ogres in the mansion. It is recommended to have your child play this game in a padded room, while also having them wear a helmet or hat to prevent them from pulling their hair out in frustration.
The Karate Kid
This game should only be used as a last resort for punishment because the child will actually feel physical pain from playing it. Mach Rider is a fast moving biker race game that is sure to induce nausea and headaches. The screen is jumpy from the fast pace, blinking center strip, enemy bikers, oil puddles, barriers, etc. It's like watching The Blair Witch Project but worse. Should your child withstand 30 minutes of Mach Rider punishment, visit your eye doctor immediately to check for symptoms of opsoclonus--the "crazy eyes." Examples to use "Playing Mach Rider to Punish Your Child" include: young Billy looking at dirty websites, or young Sally watching inappropriate night time television. The abuse that playing Mach Rider plays on their eyes is all the deterrent they need.
If none of these punishments seem to invoke the fear of Ganon in them, you may need to try something a bit more extreme:
*Watch the complete series of the t.v. show Sister, Sister
*Listen to Jesus-freak Kirk Cameron speak at a seminar
*Watch the last season of Roseanne after they won the lottery